Counseling for Adult Sexual Abuse Survivors

I specialize in helping survivors heal and integrate their sexual abuse experiences from their past to better cope and manage in the present.

There are many reactions that survivors childhood sexual abuse, ritualistic abuse, incest, or rape, may experience. These include (but are not limited to): 

Setting Limits/Boundaries

• Because  your personal boundaries were invaded when you were young by
  someone you trusted and depended on, you may have trouble understanding that you
  have the right to control what happens to you.

Memories/Flashbacks

• Like many survivors, you may experience flashbacks.

Anger

• This is often the most difficult emotion for an adult survivor of childhood
  sexual abuse to get in touch with.
• As a child your anger was powerless and had little to no effect on the
  actions of your abuser. For this reason you may not feel confident that you
  anger will be useful or helpful.

Grieving/Mourning

• Being abused as a child means the loss of many things- childhood
  experiences, trust, innocence, normal relationship with family members
  (especially if the abuser was a family member).
• You must be allowed to name those losses, grieve them, and then bury
  them.

Guilt, Shame, and Blame

• You may  carry a lot of guilt because you may have experienced pleasure or
  because you did not try to stop the abuse.
• There may have been silence surrounding the abuse that led to feelings of
  shame.
• It is important for you to understand that it was the adult who abused
  his/her position of authority and should be held accountable, not you.

Trust

• Learning to trust again may be very difficult for you.
• You may find that you go from  one extreme to the other, not trusting at all
  to trusting too much.

Coping Skills

• You have undoubtedly developed skills in order to cope with the trauma.
• Some of these are healthy (possibly separating yourself from family members, seeking out counseling, etc.)
• Some are not (drinking or drug abuse, promiscuous sexual activity, etc.) 
  

Self-esteem/Isolation

• Low self-esteem is a result of all of the negative messages you received and
  internalized from your abusers.

• Because entering into an intimate relationship involves trust, respect,
  love, and the ability to share, you may flee from intimacy or hold on too
  tightly for fear of losing the relationship.

Sexuality

• You likely have to deal with the fact that  your first initiation into sex
  came as a result of sexual abuse.
• You may  experience the return of body memories while engaging in a sexual activity with another person. Such memories may  interfere in your ability to engage in sexual relationships which may leave you feeling frightened, frustrated, or ashamed.

Resources

King County Sexual Abuse Resource Center http://www.kcsarc.org (Washington State)

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network http://www.rainn.org/